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Psychological services for internationally adopted children
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Parental Techniques and Counseling
for Adoptive Families

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    Jeltje Simons

    I am a professional nurse with years of experience in
    managing special needs children who have mental disabilities,
    autism and developmental delays. I also worked in a challenging behaviour unit with teenagers and young adults and I worked as a respite coordinator and organized respites for children and adults.

    I am the mother of two internationally adopted children with disabilities and I understand and have first hand experience with the behavioural problems you are facing. I live and work with my kids in Sweden and can help you with developing the right skills to set the needed structure and healthy relations with your kids, to regulate communications and
    help your post-institutional child to fit into your family.

    I speak Dutch and English languages to communicate with you efficiently.

    I understand your worries for the future and the uncertainty that comes with parenting a disabled child. If you need a practical day to day advice, I will help you to find solutions that work for your family. But remember your child's behaviours did not start yesterday and they are unlikely be
    solved tomorrow. There are no shortcuts when it comes to parenting traumatized children, but with patience and perseverance good results can still be achieved.

    I can advise you which activities to allow and which to avoid in the early days.

    I can help you structure the day so that life for the child becomes more predictable; this reduces anxiety in the child and makes it easier to parent them, preventing or reducing challenging behaviours.

    I can advise you how react on your child's behaviour so you help them to control their emotions.

    I can help you to negotiate your child's needy behaviours with your own needs, as they are
    important as well. You are no good to the child if you feel totally run down, and remember:
    you are there for the long run. I do not suggest that you call a friend and chat for an hour when
    the child is awake, but you should be able to call a plumber without being distracted. As a single parent, I need to take care of myself as well of the needs of my children; you too can create moments in the day where you can do your own things, even with the child present.

    The child needs to learn to trust the parent that there will be food every day. Sometimes there are
    sensory issues that underlie problems with eating, thus before starting a management plan, any
    medical cause needs to be ruled out. Children who steal and store food need very close supervision;
    this might even include locking food away until the child feels safer, is more settled and has learned
    that there is no need in saving food. Healthy snacks should be available for the child to learn to ask:
    seeing that food is available is comforting for children who have fear it might run out.

    Not all consequences make sense to the child and the child can learn from them. We should use natural consequences whenever possible. It is best when the child's choice becomes the consequence. He does not want to wear a jacket? The natural consequence is being cold. I can
    help you to transfer this principle to other situations.

    It is a post-orphanage behaviour that is often deeply ingrained. Asking those children "Have you stolen that?" is setting them up for lie. A combination of social stories, prevention and consequences can be helpful. The course of action also depends as on the child's emotional maturity.
    Together we can look at the approach which is likely to be most successful.

    I can help you to spot the very early signs of aggression and how to prevent it escalating, so you do not make it worse by your own actions.

How does the counseling service work?

Pay for your consultation with Jeltje Simons using PayPal or credit card
The initial consultation payment ($90US) covers 45 min. that include 15 min. of counselor's preparation (reading your documents, descriptions, concerns, etc.) and 30 min. of actual discussion.
If you believe that you will need more time with your counselor, or it's not the initial consultation but a continuation of your ongoing conversation, you can buy additional time ($25US) - in 15 min. increments using the button below.
All unused time will be reimbursed to you or saved for the next session as per your preference.

Please note that the receipt that PayPal issues as a result of each transaction is a financial document - it will not be accepted by your insurance as a medical claim.

Counseling is not a psychotherapy, its goal is very practical: help you find a working approach for resolving day-to-day issues similar to those described above. It's a practical advice on how to handle one hurdle at a time in your specific situation. To initiate a counseling session with Jeltje Simons, you will need to do the following:

Step 1. Send an email message to Ms Simons at briefly describing the issues with your child and indicating the following:

  • What is your child's age and sex?
  • How long has your child been home?
  • Does your child have any known special needs? Please specify, if any.
  • Please describe a typical day.
  • Which problems are you experiencing when parenting your child?
  • What have you done to prevent those problems reoccurring?
  • What's the best part of the day for you to have a consultation and if you would like to call on the phone (to Sweden) or Skype?

Step 2. You will get a reply from Ms Simons within 3 business days with 2 possible time segments to select for your initial consultation. Confirm the selected time segment.

Step 3. Pay for the initial consultation by PayPal (see above) and call Ms Simons on the phone or Skype, as arranged. to discuss her suggestions on how to approach the problem.



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