Newsletter #28 for Internationally Adopting Parents
August 20, 2006
PAL Center Inc.

Copyright@2006

Latest Articles
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International Adoption Articles Directory

Boris Gindis, Ph.D.
Cumulative Cognitive Deficit in international adoptees: its origin, indicators, and means of remediation
A child's major cognitive skills and processes are formed and put in action through direct and mediated learning. Deprived of such experiences, children may have problems moving to more advanced levels of learning. When a child misses certain stages of normal cognitive development and never learns generic concepts necessary for successful schooling, the educational matter this child is taught simply does not have any structural support upon which to be understood, remembered, and used.

In this article Dr. Gindis re-visits the origins of CCD in internationally adopted children and points out at the utmost importance of an early detection and intervention, discussing some available remedial methodologies.

"Claiming" your child

From the online class JSBG2
Adopting older children internationally:
making a decision and coping with post-adoption difficulties

As a human being, the interaction with your newly adopted older child will likely include moments of insecurity, disappointment in yourselves and how you may handle an "adoption moment." You don't have time to focus on whether or not your child likes you before needing to assume your role as parent and impose expectations and limits. The truth be told, like every other child, birth or adopted, they will have moments where they don't like your rules, expectations or consequences; and what's more, they don't even like you! Adopting and parenting an older child requires a headlong plunge into parenting as you are also learning about, and bonding, to your child. You cannot allow your approval rating to interfere with the need to assume your role as parent.
One of the ways of inviting and reinforcing your child's sense of belonging in your family is to use "claiming" language and activities. Stating an expectation in terms of "In our family, we do chores together on Saturday…In our family, we ask before we borrow one another's things…In our family, the parents are in charge." Likewise, it is important to use language and references that reinforce their position in the family. "This is our daughter, Nadezhda…Your brother asked if you could go to the store with him…This is something we do as a family and you are a part of our family…"

Including the children in family rituals and celebrations or building new ones are means of "claiming" them as a family member.

Natasha is 10 and this is her first Christmas with her adopted family. One of the family traditions is for the children to take turns each year placing the angel on the top of the Christmas tree. A decade of Santa pictures are displayed on the piano. Natasha's brother and sister agree that this year she should place the angel on the tree. After taking her turn, Natasha asked if she could have her picture taken with Santa. Her parents told her, of course she could, and they briefly planned a visit to the mall. A few seconds later, the family was taken aback as Natasha began to cry. She said it was probably the last year that Santa would let her sit on his lap because she was getting too old. Natasha's tears were for the years she had not been a part of the traditions and the fear that she had few years left. The family hugged her, placed her name on the angel's box noting the next year that it would be her turn, reinforcing her future with them. They also discussed a part of the Christmas tradition she would assume as hers. Because of her artistic talent and organization, she assumed the task of setting up the miniature Christmas village.

Identifying likes and dislikes, talents, interests, favorite colors, skills and activities are all ways to learn about your child, indicate an interest and an appreciation for their uniqueness and bond and connect. Most of these children have not had the kind of attention and feedback that is so critical to developing a sense of self and a sense of belonging.

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