Newsletter #125 for Internationally Adopting Parents
February 25, 2010
PAL Center Inc.

Latest Articles
from the
International Adoption Articles Directory

POSITIVE PARENTING:
SPENDING TIME WITH MY CHILD

Adopting an older child does not make for less work on the part of a parent. Older children, even those who may have acquired family skills prior to adoption, have to relearn those skills in the new context of their adoptive family. Attachment is not transferable from one adult to another automatically. Attachment needs attention and nurturing in order to grow. It requires a commitment by both parent and child.

A child with a complex background is immune to bribery, scare tactics, pressure, or demands to attach. Many parents report that when their child gets angry and stubborn, the child yells, "You can take everything away from me; I don't care." And the truth is, the child doesn't care, because what was really valuable - a safe secure home - was taken away and nothing else really matters. Therefore a parent can only entice a child to enter into a relationship.

Having fun together is the best and perhaps the only enticement to which an internationally adopted child will respond. Along with fun, the parent must help the child manage his own emotional and physiological responses so the child feels safely in control. Eye contact and play are highly stimulating, so it is imperative that parents have soothing and calming strategies in hand to help modify a child's excitement.

Patty Cogen, Ed.D.
An abstract from the new online class PC-1 "The First Year Home",
Unit 8. Understanding and building attachment,
Section: Having fun together - releasing the feel-good chemicals for both of you.
Course Program

Adrian King
Positive Parenting: Exercising With Your Child!
So how do we do that? How can we exercise with our child so it is beneficial to not only me but also for my child? Well, in our society we have many opportunities to have quality time with our children, but sadly many parents just don't do it.

Boris Gindis, Ph.D.
Activities to Promote Healthy Development
The most important task in the first weeks and months of adoption is to strengthen attachment with your internationally adopted child. Playing and taking care of the child’s basic needs (feeding, bathing, etc.) will constitute your major occupation at this time.

Daniel Foote
Education Games For Youngsters, Good Plan?
Educational games for kids are actually everywhere. They vary from real-life board games to without charge Internet games. They may also be effortlessly ordered or accessed. Malls have toy sections where you will discover tons of games. Whilst not all of them will be educational, games like scrabble and chess are not likely difficult to find. Popular websites like Facebook and Yahoo offer a section of games, the vast majority of that happen to be child-friendly.

Joe Webb
Foster Caring Grandparents
Grandparents have long been victims of family breakup, contact has been stopped with their grandchildren and they are often never considered in the decisions made by parents.

Dr. Marlene Maheu
The Smart Parent's Way To Handle Children And Divorce
For parents who survive mean-spirited, angry, ugly divorces; an ex-spouse can "win" by alienating their children. We all know of the obvious ways this can be done - outright lying, magnifying the alienated spouse's faults and minimizing their attributes.
The courts sometimes encourage such behavior by giving the child 'permission' to stay away from that spouse if he/she simply doesn't want to see the parent. For some parents, the pain involved with children and divorce is immense.
Luckily, with children, the initial anger often does melt into acceptance, but only if you are there to receive it. If you are angry and pouting yourself, you might miss the opportunity to change your relationship with your child.

---

More articles on Daily Activities With Children are available from the International Adoption Articles Directory

Sponsors

To unsubscribe
send e-mail to
newsletter-request@bgcenterschool.org
with the subject: unsubscribe

• Center for Cognitive-Developmental Assessments & Remediation
• BGCenter Online School
• International Adoptions Article Directory